A Pirate Lives Above Me

I recently moved into a new apartment. Thought I had it so great. The apartment's across from Central Park, it has a cat, the kitchen and bathroom are small enough that you can clean them in less than an hour, AND we don't share walls with anyone thanks to the back room of an acupuncture office and an elevator. Great, I thought, now we can play rock band as loudly as we want without disturbing anyone. And we won't have to listen to anyone else playing rock band.
I was so very very wrong. The upstairs neighbor is constantly moving something. The very distinct sound of moving something heavy and wooden comes from the ceiling every single day. At random times and sometimes for almost an hour of constant moving. How could someone have to move so frequently? This question has haunted me since we moved. I believe I have an answer.

He is a morbidly obese pirate with a pegleg. The peg leg would explain the constant noise since he has to drag it with him whenever he walks somewhere. But that can't be all. The sound is very loud sometimes, much louder than a peg leg could ever be (I assume). So he must be pulling something almost every time he walks. The only explanation for this is that he has been cursed to carry around a chest filled with treasure for eternity. Damn those gods and their messed up sense of humor.