Anyway before going today I was equal parts nauseous and anxious. So much so that I wanted to cancel but all the reasons I came up with were completely nonsensical. I was too nauseous to go, but I was nauseous because I didn't have my medicine which I would get at the doctors. I won't feel better until I actually go to the doctors. Also, I was too anxious to go and face a doctor, much worse and unknown doctor. But I was going to see her FOR the anxiety. I would never be able to stop being anxious until I actually went to see her. Here, at least, logic prevailed and I went to see the doctor.
Then the what to wear conundrume rose. I had two very clear situations in my head. Scenario 1:
Here I dress up so the therapist doesn't think I'm crazy and will therefore believe what I say. Lots of work put into it, reward of medication after.
Scenario 2:
Here I go as I am, complete with pajamas I still haven't changed out of (the appointment was at 6pm) and hair that hasn't been washed in a few days. Surprisingly here also works out to my advantage. They see that I'm clearly crazy and agree to give me medication before I even have to do anything. Small amount of effort, large reward.
In the end not looking like a crazy person won out, if only because I had to take the subway there and back. And get my prescription filled. It is not easy getting your prescription filled while looking like a lunatic.
I believe it worked. She seemed to listen to me and believe what I was saying. She also seemed to know all of my bad qualities and magically asked just the questions that were correct. I was impressed. And walked away with all the medicine I need. Including free samples! Of a very boring medication.
